Trying Not to Phase
by aCertainSlantOfDark
Summary: If Paul makes one more sexist comment.. No, can't phase. Paul in a dress.. Paul in makeup.. Paul in a tutu teaching Claire ballet. Leah's hands stopped shaking and her breathing slowed. Now if she could only manage this kind of control for 28 more days..
1. Chapter 1

**Trying Not to Phase**

**disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**This is my first Twilight fanfic! I would like you to review if you read and have the time, but I'm also a little nervous as to how many people will actually like the story. I only used to write HP fics and since my computer crashed have been majorly out of practice. Anyways, hopefully I'll get better as I go along, so enjoy :)**

**Here is the time plot: basically, this is after the fight with the newborns, but before Edward sends Jacob a wedding invitation. In my story, I'm leaving out the whole Breaking Dawn thing for the moment. The Cullens might appear in the shadows, but I'm going to focus mainly on Leah and the pack. **

Leah tore through the forest like a vampire was chasing her. Her paws dug at the hardened earth, tearing up dirt and rock clumps and throwing them into trees and stunned insects that never had a chance. Sometimes she felt like a ghost. She woke up, did the same thing everyday: eat, drink, communicate with the pack, her mother, etc. etc. sleep... She might as well be a pale figure hanging over La Push doing the same thing over and over and over.. .She already had the rage at least. Her mind worked furiously, processing everything that pissed her off since Sam first started going shady on her and disappearing for days, sometimes weeks at a time. Damn, how her life had changed in one year...

She thought about how she used to gossip with her friends on the phone. She would be talking to someone from her school, Emily, or Sam. The phone was practically glued to her ear. She used to dress nicer, put on a tiny bit of makeup, and swing her waist length glossy black hair around. Now she sulked, talked to hardly anyone except her family and the pack, and her hair was a short mess.

A pang hit her and she dug her claws into the ground, skidding to halt. Glad for the alone time, she thought about how she just wanted a normal life. She wanted to enroll in college this fall, make new friends, and only visit La Push every other weekend, when she wasn't partying/studying like every other normal 19 year old.

As much as she had loved Sam, he was a distant part of her life now. Well, besides him being a pain in the ass as her almighty Alpha wolf leader. She had spent the previous hour running, her mind free from other voices as she thought over her life. With an anger that burned through her chest, she shuddered, visibly blurring in the air, and sat naked on the forest floor on all fours.

She wasn't going to let the rest of these vampire obsessed losers drag her down into a constantly descending spiral. Who knew how long the leeches would stay here? Who knew how long trouble would continue to brew as long as the little brat Bella was nearby and human. As much as she hated to think it, and god forbid Jacob ever heard her think it; she just wished Bella would get bit already. Then they could move on and La Push would gradually settle down. Leah could quit phasing, and build a new life somewhere else, like Seattle or Portland.

If she had never phased, she wouldn't know about any of it. She would probably despise Sam and Emily for at least 10 more years, but she would go on to college, make something of herself, and gradually develop a pattern that made her happy instead of one that made her feel like a damn ghost. Once she could stop phasing, she was out faster than Seth after a plate of spaghetti.

She flicked an ant of her her butt, her eyes widening as she thought of a plan that was crazy, but just might work. She knew it could take months, maybe even a year to stop phasing, and that was when there weren't any bloodsuckers around. Still, she stood up, determined and excited for the first time in a year. Well, the second time if you count the fight with the newborns. She shook the dirt out of her hair, ran her fingers through it, and closed her eyes to concentrate on phasing again.

She felt almost giddy as she ran home. She had never been asked to patrol as much as the boys, and especially not lately. She had a feeling it was Sam not wanting her to hear his and Emily's wedding plans, but at the moment, she couldn't give a shit. That would work in her favor for now.

As she pounced into her bedroom and hit the floor with a moderate thud and scrapping of claws, she phased back immediately and pulled on a tank top and the same pair of cut off shorts she had worn religiously. She went over to her hiding place, pulled out the small box, and took out her stash of money saved up over the years. The first step of not phasing would be to continue her normal life as much as possible.

She picked up a small purse, brushing off the months of closet dust, and ran into the kitchen where Sue was making lunch.

**Mom. Can I borrow your car?**

Sue turned around, surprised. Leah hadn't driven the car since she became a wereshifter-whatever you want to call it. She preferred travelling in her wolf form, but seeing as how the whole point was not to phase, she yelled a quick **Shopping** to her mom and ran for the modest four door Lincoln town car.

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Leah huffed as she sorted through the racks of mismatched clothing items at a popular thrift store in the heart of Seattle. She hadn't shopped for clothing in a while. She knew she wanted to dress differently. Not slutty, or to girly, but more confident, classy even. It was still a pain in the ass to look for something when the sizes weren't grouped together. After grabbing a handful of fabric from the cart she had been pushing around, she made her way to the dressing rooms.

She smoothed the thin black cotton dress over her stomach and down her thighs, turning to admire the way it clung to her curvy figure. The dress stopped about mid thigh, and the neck dipped low enough to show her cleavage, but not to much to be worried about bending over. She hadn't thought about this sort of thing in a long time, so it was a new feeling to think of herself as beautiful or sexy. She loved the way her choppy and stylishly messy hair had thin streaks of forest green inter-weaved mostly in the front, framing her face and bringing out her dark brown eyes. She had picked the dark green tote to match, and quickly braided each side of her hair into two tiny little pigtails.

She kept the dress on as she paid for her purchases, and stepped out into the brilliant afternoon sun. As she walked down the street to her car, she couldn't help the grin on her face as she heard the whistles from some of the many passing cars. Men and boys alike glanced at her appreciatively on the sidewalk, and she put a little extra swagger into her walk. When she got into the car she laughed, feeling more normal than she remembered feeling in a long time.

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Leah marched into the living room to hand her mom the keys. She kept her expression blank as she read her mom's face, which was priceless. Sue had been talking on the phone to Billy? and when she turned laughing to take the keys from Leah she stopped mid sentence and practically dropped the cordless.

**Leah, you look beautiful!**

Leah rolled her eyes. **It's just a dress mom.**

**Well still, I haven't ever seen you look like this, not even before...**and she trailed off, not wanting Leah to get upset about mentioning Sam. **I mean, **she sniffled, holding the speakers on the phone against her palm, **You look like such a woman. **

**I **_**am**_** a woman mom.**

Sue sighed..** I know, but you... **she trailed off and shook her head. **Harry would roll in his grave if he saw the way you look right now. So confident and capable. The boys...**Sue rattled on about her being so grown up.

**Yeah whatever mom, I'm going to Emily's. **Leah was starting to feel embarrassed at her mothers compliments, all because she was wearing a dress. How much had she really changed, that everyone she currently interacted with on a daily basis would probably be acting the same way her mom just had..

After getting away from her doting mother, she walked to Emily's. She was going to ask Emily when she thought they would be shopping for bridesmaid gowns. She grinned as she imagined Emily's _and_ Sam's face when she asked this as normally as when she asked Paul to go take a big harry one. She smelled grilled hamburger in the air and heard several boy's voices. Brilliant. This would be her first test....

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	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, sorry it took so long to update. I keep getting an error about the video driver on my laptop. It is working for now, at least. Thanks to my reviewers last time. I'll continue, even if just a couple of people like the story. This chapter is pretty short though. The next will be longer. **

**No I do not own Twilight**

Leah walked up to Sam and Emily's door. She hesitated a second before knocking, gathering her wits, then knocked three times. The door flew open and there stood Paul, a hot dog in his mouth and two more in his hand. Leah wrinkled her nose in disgust.

Ugh, boys.

Paul gaped down at her, apparently speechless. Leah rolled her eyes and pushed past him, walking into the tiny but bright living room. Of course everyone was munching down on Emily's oh so delicious food. Geez, you think for someone who can make hot dogs and muffins well, she should guest star on Emeril. All the guys heads immediately snapped up. She was sure they caught a whiff of her perfume mixed with her scent, and were thinking WTF!

Jared, Jacob and Quil gave her a couple seconds before proceeding to stuff their faces again, whereas Paul, Embry, Seth, Sam, and Emily still stared.

The latter two were shocked. The former two were practically drooling. Seth looked a little weired out.

"**What's the occasion?"** he asked.

"**What, so there has to be an occasion for me to dress like a girl."**Leah rolled her eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and gave Embry the finger for winking at her.

"**You like very nice, Leah."** Emily complimented her.

_Yeah, I bet you wished you looked this good, _Leah thought, then felt ashamed. As much as she despised Sam and resented Emily, she couldn't help but feel sorry for her. It must suck to have half of your face looking like Heath Ledger from that new Batman movie. How screwed up would it be if Emily painted her face and went around screaming "**Why so serious?**" to everyone she met on Halloween.

'Ah, god that's horrible. Bad Leah, bad Leah'. Sam had went back to eating, that little dip shit. If this had been two years ago, he would have bent over backwards for her while singing "**You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…**"

Leah sighed and took a bite of blueberry muffin. She felt a little down. She didn't get the entrance she was hoping for. Not that she expected everyone to fall at her feet…** "You are my sunshine"… **but a little more reaction than the one she got.

Seth, who seemed to notice something was up, said "**You look really nice, sis.**" Leah smiled at him.

"**Thanks kid." **She ruffled his hair and snatched his hot dog away as he cried out.

'Hmm, so I guess everything seems normal. Well, if you can call me in a dress normal.'

Leah thought sadly about her t shirts and well worn cut-offs. Oh well, everything had to retire sooner or later.

After scarfing a few hot dogs and four muffins, Leah grabbed her purse and headed for the door, before stopping abruptly.

'Damnit, gotta start saying goodbye instead of storming out.'

"**See ya", **she called to no one in particular. There were a couple of bye's, but even Emily was to engrossed in Sam's wolf shit colored irises to notice Leah leaving.

As she walked down the driveway, Leah felt a prickle start at the corner of her eyes. What the hell was this?!! Almost one day into her new routine, and she was already becoming a softie. She couldn't phase now, though. Her hands started to shake and she repeated **"NO, NO, NO, **over in her head. She had to go at least 24 hours, if she ever stood a chance of becoming a normal human girl again.

**Yeah this was really short.**


End file.
